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PollyMobiles Rebuild

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pollyp

pollyp

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so before the trackday, I assessed the brakes & tyres since last checkup in april
https://www.micra.org.uk/threads/pollymobiles-rebuild.35251/page-127#post-716926

had to dust all the dirt & spider webs off the 595RSR wheels that's been in storage

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Front Right
Tyre: 3 / 2 / 2.75 (inner/mid/outer)

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Pads: 8 / 7.79 (inner/outer)

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Rear Right
Tyre: 4 / 2.75 / 2.75 (inner/mid/outer)

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Pads: 8.55 / 8.65

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Rear Left
Tyre: 2 / 2.75 / 3.75 (inner/mid/outer)

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Pads: 8.35 / 8.75

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Front Left
Tyre: 4.25 / 3.75 / 3.75 (inner/mid/outer)

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Pads: 7.75 / 7.85

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pad wear with the smooth OEM discs is now nice & gradual

pad wear.jpg


as explained prev, the T1R were alot thicker at 6-7mm gr8 for dispersing deep water but very skittish.
decided may as well fit the RSR on as an R&D exercise to find how it handles the wet before considering moving back.
swapped the RSR front to back so the deeper treaded tyre is at the front end.
 
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pollyp

pollyp

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2016-03-09 Blyton Park Full Circuit

06:00 it's been raining heavily overnight. picked up me two m8s early in the miserable morning, safe to say from all the whining along the way in a noisy car they're really not morning ppl :p
he also mentioned along the way that he had band practice that night at 6pm so would have to leave early from 2-3pm :/
the monsoon was seriously heavy especially overtaking lorry spray at 70 with zero visibility, required lots of focus.

08:30 arrived at a drenched blyton park. the gravely pit area I usually park is just a pond so parked on the tarmac near the cafe and spotted Edwards & Alexs K11 :)
alex & ed popped over, heya.

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alot to do before briefing at 9 so said hi's, went to get me m8s registered first. alex & ed had popped up the gazebo which was a god-send for storing stuff in this crazy weather.
I unloaded the car and check setup while me two grumpy passengers had tea coffee in cafe :p

9:15 drivers briefing. the track instructor advisor after the main briefing giggle at why he was even talking about track condition when it's pretty obvious to everyone that it's pretty much a river out there :)
there were quite abit of novices that day so we split up the sighting laps into groups of familiar drivers first then the novice group.

09:38 sighting lap --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Before:
Setup:
Dampers: 15/30 F/R
Tyres: 595RSR 1.9 / 2.5bar F/R Cold
Weight: 100% fuel, with passenger
During:
Track Condition: heavy rain with heavy standing water
Brake Bias: 50/50% F/R

ran the sighting lap for 15min in an attempt for all the cars to help clear away some of the serious flooding round all the corners.


 
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pollyp

pollyp

Club Member
10:25 Run 1 --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Before:
Setup:
Dampers: 15/30 F/R
Tyres: 595RSR 2.0 / 2.7bar F/R warm
Weight: 100% fuel, with passenger
During:
Track Condition: heavy rain with heavy standing water
Brake Bias: 50/50% F/R

once the novice group had returned from their sighting lap, we got ready warmed up then went for the 1st run.


Video timeline highlight
05:16 standing water at exit, easy to wheelspin
06.09 locking fronts from too much pressure
06.54 wheelspin over the dip & standing water
07.02 water pool at exit cause wheelspin and pulls car off line
07.12 mid-corner oversteer
07.29 goes 9.0 AFR at hesitates power whilst WOT at high rpm
07.49 try WOT and again hesitates at high rpm

Notes:
-apply brakes slowly to prevent locking
-RSR surprisingly grippy
-taking it cautious around fast bends
-alot of standing water so apply throttle very progressively

Lap times:
(inc gearing through Twickers, Jochen, Wiggler, Port Froids, Ushers and any traffic highlighted red)

1:47 (2, 3, 3, 3, 3) traffic
1:44 (2, 3, 3, 3, 2) let car pass

misfire issue & pit

10.44 Test hesitation
I went for a brief blast up & down the pit side road to see if the WOT hiccup is still there, no signs of it during normal blast so went back to the pit lane but the track was red flagged due to oil spill so went to cafe for sandwich.

11:08 Run 2 --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Before:
Setup:
Dampers: 15/30 F/R
Tyres: 595RSR 2.0 / 2.7bar F/R warm
Weight: 80% fuel, with passenger
During:
Track Condition: raining with medium standing water
Brake Bias: 50/50% F/R

couldn't find any obvious signs of exhaust or boost leak so went back out


Video timeline highlight
03.36 still hesitate at high rpm
03.43 lock fronts
03.51 figure if misfire at high rpm, I short shift
04.16 short shift at flooded exit before reaching peak torque to prevent wheelspin
04.26 lock rear
05.21 lock rear
06.06 delicate threshold braking in wet
09.31 lock fronts
09.46 slight mid-corner oversteer and begin to hear a whine/leak (suspected gearbox or turbo)
09.56 red mx5 spins
11.56 windering if the whining was from other cars supercharger. silver mx5 not letting me pass. have almost equal acceleration but I'm better braking and cornering
12.51 silver mx5 goes wide
13.51 let faster white mx5 pass
14.06 silver mx5 was abit bias letting white mx5 pass and thought bout trying to block me
15.31 lock rears
16.11 boost gauge reading 5 instead of 10psi

Lap times:
(inc gearing through Twickers, Jochen, Wiggler, Port Froids, Ushers and any traffic highlighted red)
1:43 (2, 3, 2, 3, 3)
1:41 (2, 3, 2, 4, 3)
1:40 (2, 3, 2, 3, 3)
1:41 (2, 3, 2, 3, 3) red mx5 spins
1:42 (2, 3, 3, 3, 3) silver mx5 blocking
1:43 (2, 3, 2, 3, 3) silver mx5 blocking
1:42 (2, 3, 3, 3, 3) let white mx5 pass

pit to check boost leak

11:38 Run 3 --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Before:
Setup:
Dampers: 15/30 F/R
Tyres: 595RSR 2.0 / 2.7bar F/R warm
Weight: 70% fuel, with passenger
During:
Track Condition: raining with medium standing water
Brake Bias: 50/50% F/R

still couldn't find any signs of exhaust or boost leak and worked fine, perhaps gauge was faulty? so went back out


Video timeline highlight
04.23 forgot to shift down to 3rd at wiggler, hit puddle and ran wide
06.11 wheelspin over exit puddle
06.23 lock front
08.09 wierd screech noise

Notes
-no longer hesitates at high rpm
-red flag at end from a steaming renault 5

Lap times:

(inc gearing through Twickers, Jochen, Wiggler, Port Froids, Ushers and any traffic highlighted red)
1:40 (2, 3, 4, 3, 3) wrong gear through Wiggler
1:38 (2, 3, 2, 3, 3)
1:37 (2, 3, 2, 3, 3)
red flag from broken renault 5

12:00 Run 4 --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Before:
Setup:
Dampers: 10/30 F/R
Tyres: 595RSR 2.0 / 2.7bar F/R warm
Weight: 50% fuel, with passenger
During:
Track Condition: stop raining with some standing water
Brake Bias: 50/50% F/R

softened the front dampers to try reduce understeer and took andy along since his last time back in april


Video timeline highlight
04.58 silver mx5 again not letting me pass
06.14 can apply WOT on exit
06.44 lock rear
08.34 wierd screech noise
09.44 wierd screech noise
10.14 wierd screech noise again and turbo whine/leak getting louder
11.44 lock front

Notes
this boost leak noise got noticably louder at the end, still souldn't find anything wrong

Lap times:

(inc gearing through Twickers, Jochen, Wiggler, Port Froids, Ushers and any traffic highlighted red)
1:47 (2, 3, 2, 3, 3) silver hold up traffic
1:39 (2, 3, 2, 3, 3)
1:41 (2, 3, 2, 3, 3) lotus traffic
1:39 (2, 3, 2, 3, 3)
1:37 (2, 3, 2, 3, 3)
pit to check boost leak noise

13:57 Run 5 --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Before:
Setup:
Dampers: 10/30 F/R
Tyres: 595RSR 2.0 / 2.7bar F/R warm
Weight: 40% fuel, with passenger
During:
Track Condition: wet
Brake Bias: 50/50% F/R

after lunch, andy & I suspected maybe a leaking BOV, so I disconnected it and bunged the open end with a socket adapter

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IMAG3260.jpg



Video timeline highlight
03.10 behind edwards k11
03.30 pass edward
03.50 exit understeer wheelspin
04.10 mid-corner oversteer
09.45 black peugeot spinning in front

Notes
-tyres & brakes & handling working nicely
-even after removing the BOV it still leaks near high rpm. normally it should boost surge & chirp without BOV but it just hisses like normal, definately a leak somewhere

Lap times:

(inc gearing through Twickers, Jochen, Wiggler, Port Froids, Ushers and any traffic highlighted red)
1:36 (2, 3, 2, 3, 3)
1:36 (2, 3, 2, 3, 3)
1:37 (2, 3, 2, 3, 3)
1:37 (2, 3, 2, 3, 3) traffic
1:50 (2, 3, 2, 3, 3) peugeot spin


looking at all my traffic clear laps, my times got progressively faster as the track dried and fuel got lighter

best laps.jpg


it was now near 2pm and had to quickly pack up & go to get me m8 back home in time so said bye to the guys and headed off.
with this loud boost leak, it now only creates 3psi and has very little power like a normal 1.3
made it home with no issue.
 
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OP
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pollyp

pollyp

Club Member
well there's our problem to the hidden boost leak. the clamp was either too loose or wasn't far enough beyond the rim lip

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not enough of the hose sticks out and notice the damaged inner liner

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a trip to & from blyton made 150ml of water/oil vapour. the hoses inside are still lined with oily gunk but alot thinner and it still flows ok this time without blockage.

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the can on the pcv breather - inlet has oddly caught some vapour this time. perhaps the heavy spray of rain is cooling the glass far enough to also condense any blowby whereas the hot radiator in dry weather is keeping the glass jar too warm?

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the epoxied turbo oil return still sealed dry

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the turbo inlet elbow only has a tiny smear of oil residue

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was gonna replace that elbow with some spares in the garage but noticed they're 65mm rather than 63mm for the IC :/

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so instead I simply reverse the ports, put the shorter bad side on the IC while the longer better port is clamped onto the pipe

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all reassembled, tested and she's reproducing 10psi now as normal

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Good write up Paul as always

Thing is with Eds coilovers Alex is they're what was requested.
BCs you snd Paul use are a generic damper set up to suit road cars and track cars. So they'll be a little softer than what you'd hope for
 
Good write up Paul as always

Thing is with Eds coilovers Alex is they're what was requested.
BCs you snd Paul use are a generic damper set up to suit road cars and track cars. So they'll be a little softer than what you'd hope for

Tis a fair point, they're perfect for track

The springs in mine are a good compromise for the surfaces I run on though, just rolly on tarmac :p
(sorry Paul)
 
Tis a fair point, they're perfect for track

The springs in mine are a good compromise for the surfaces I run on though, just rolly on tarmac :p
(sorry Paul)
Pauls is the optimum balance between road and track. To further it either way compromises the other

The damping range can make a massive difference though so if you ever get chance to revalve yours I recommend it. I'm glad someone's seen the result of my labour at work
 
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pollyp

pollyp

Club Member
agree with all the pointers above. I'm happy with the current softish spring rates to compromise between a comfy ride quality on road and firm sharp control on track.
my key issue tbh is roll center geometry which causes alot of roll and really upsets the whole geometry & camber etc so the tyre shoulders wear unevenly and limits tyre performance.
 
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pollyp

pollyp

Club Member
gave her a needed wash after wednesdays soaking action

IMAG3261.jpg


changed both oils. btw notice how the underside is much dryer now that the oil return and gearbox seals are no longer leaking :cool:

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gear plug is clear which is good

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filthy dark LSD oil after 1 trackday vs clean golden new oil. guess the LSD was working / slipping really hard in the wet corners that day.

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relubed the clutch cable

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went for a boost on the road with these 595RSR and damn they grip with lots of traction. boosting WOT out the slip road she feels alot more rapid with no wheel spin :) vs the T1R which tends to wheel spin near peak torque.
 
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pollyp

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kasandra is now insured for another year :)
my ear & brain is now probably irradiated from being on hold so long.

adrian flux renewal quote has gone from £450 upto £506 fully comp with breakdown, which is abit much.
rang chris knott, state actual value of £8k and eventually they couldn't insure me.

rang sky, spoke to luke nice lad, gone through all 20 mods,
he asked what the value is for a "liked-minded enthiusiast" to buy? urm I really stumbled here cos I said all the parts added upto £8k so I'd say 8k and the market value if it was sold as standard was £500 and never really considered selling it current-state.
he kept explaining what would the value be if I was to sell it to a "similar minded enthiusiast"? I still didn't get it, is 8k too high? oh alright so I said £4-5k, dunno how the feck car valuation works.

he quoted me £490 fully comp £350 excess, so went with that and cancelled adrian flux.
let's use kasandra for another yr, perhaps may have to use & park her on the street if I have to move house for a job.
luke said I can add another car long as it's modified in any way, wonder how much that'll raise the premium.

K suppose I can goto japfest & japshow now in july and any other trackdays.
 
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Low Rider

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I pay £420 Paul with a compulsory excess of £250 with Sky on the turbo. I forget the details for value etc. It'll mostly be on postcode lottery as my NCD is so high now it makes no difference to the premium.
 
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pollyp

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I pay £420 Paul with a compulsory excess of £250 with Sky on the turbo. I forget the details for value etc. It'll mostly be on postcode lottery as my NCD is so high now it makes no difference to the premium.

yea bit of postcode guessing.
have zero idea on how to value kasandra in her current state cos she's wearing 8k worth of bits, which no one would ever be crazy enough to pay for.
actual resale price value of the whole thing is abit of personal guess on "how much investment I fancy giving away". if I was really selling her, it'd be converted back to standard far as I can first & sell mods separate.
insurers will prob only pay for a standard replacement that's bout £500-800.
 
Is your value an "agreed value"? If it is that's what they'll pay out should anything unfortunate happens

Or so that's my understanding
 
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pollyp

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Is your value an "agreed value"? If it is that's what they'll pay out should anything unfortunate happens

Or so that's my understanding

think we agreed on a like for like £5k value, or something along those lines. I'll see when the papers come through. it's all jibberish witchcraft.
 
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pollyp

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k now that insurance is set, and hope kasandra's safe whatever happens in life this year, I've now booked some weekend tickets for Japfest in april 24th and Japshow july 9th. thx to Abi for her help. gonna be good. I soo need to respray/replace kasandras wings & sills cos they look tatty
 
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pollyp

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ok after looking back since a kid at how I have afew symptoms with:
difficulty picking up microgestures or sarcasm from ppl,
lack of empathy,
can't tell whether a girl's straight/les,
can't tell whether she is/isn't interested or taken,
prefer working/living alone,
play with fish,
likes to plan major events/projects in fine detail and be irritated if anything goes wrong,
uncomfortable being only asian in crowd of strangers with no purpose,
hard to initiate small talk without plan or similar interest,
always plan phone calls,
nervous answering unknown calls,
vocal diarrhea on my passionate subjects which bores ppl,
hard to eye contact after few secs,
wear same style of clothes for yrs,
talk to myself,
small noise disturbances in the house like parents walking up/down creaky stairs, banging doors, loud music etc really irritates me whenever I need silence (sleeping or focus on work).

and after some research, it's came to my attention that I fear I may have some autism :(
while I feel normal physically and ppl say I'm intelligent n clever (but I don't have much overwhelming emotions of appreciation from accepting awards etc from ppl? only feel proud towards objects/designs/solutions that I completed myself) but have always sensed that I'm missing something compared against other ppls success around me.

last years disaster just doused my flame more till I almost had none and this led to some depression and procrastination and now its scary to look for jobs & move out due to the unknown yet the "panic monster" yells you gotta find a new job & move out and bravely ask many girls out before I'm old & lost (stfu).

I've booked to see a GP next week for a check up.
 
Paul
I was in a similar place not so long ago when moving my workspace around. The changes going made me extremely uneasy and short tempered. I find it very hard to adapt to something new. I prefer the same old comforts

Whilst on the flip side my attention for doing the same thing is short I can't do the same thing over n over. I lose interest fast.
Unless it's caught my attention that suits my interest then my attention span is infinite

Don't be downhearted Paul. You've nothing to worry for. You're just passionate about what you do and simple interruptions may incur anger such like me with my kids. I love them to bits but I can't have them around when I'm in need of complete focus.

Depression is another story and dealing with it is unique. I keep mine to myself that's just how I am. Don't let it take over. That little voice that tells you can't do it is the worst. Overcoming it is hard

What you need is to be recognised for your work. That appreciation will pick you up and boost your confidence. A financial boost is always a bonus especially in today's society

There's a lot to be said about the mental side of the working mindset which is often left and ignored. And tge financial bonuses become priority

I've many a time reminded you of your capabilities and I'll continue to do so until your self belief kicks in. It'll take a while Paul. Nothing happens overnight.

I and many other people here will wholly support you with whatever you choose to do.

We just need to find a way to get it out there and prove you can do it

Chin up Paul :)
 
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pollyp

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Andy you are such an awsome friend & motivator & moral booster & wise tutor :)
so grateful for ur continuous support & patience, it makes a difference no matter how small.

big change and the unknown are scary. two big unknowns that are road blocking my progress are How do I look for a new place to live (millions of options) and How do I buy & pay for it? (paperwork, morgages, financial jibberish).

yes I luv doing what I'm good at doing with passion. when I have a task target, I will focus and work on it non stop till it's complete & satisfactory (ocd closure?)

overcoming the evil -ve voice is hard to shake off, tis why I'm procrastinating abit and just doing stuff I feel good about, to get that high & boost moral I rekindle who I was and what I luved before all this 3D app startup drama crap (going back to old school).

aye +ve reward & mindset & confidence is often ignored over the illusional money, but thankfully I saved enough emergency savings to let me forget bout the worries & have more fun to recharge / refuel my fire. I believe that once I overcome this road block and successfully got a new job I'm passionate about and living by myself with oppurtunity and stable finance, I'll be back on form and stronger.
 
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pollyp

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and speaking of moral boost, I just came back from the most awesome mariah carey concert at leeds :)
the visual production with the cool lights and the stunning mariah in sparkly sexy dresses was simply mind blown. me & sista had such a perfect view twas like a super super HD surround cinema experience. I was wooping, cheering, jumping, singing, clapping like crazy, I was crazy freaking out outa control lol. I was soo friggin High & happy :)

to top it off, there were 4-5 gorgeous ladies sitting to our left, then my sista, then me but there was this huge overweight guy to my right who was like crushing me aside and I really fancied sitting next to the luvely lasses next to my sista #nudge nudge wink wink# ;)

later the lasses went out for something, I decided to go for a tinker, then going back to my seat my sista shifts over so I would be sitting next to some pretty lady hehe :p

the ladies came back. I introduced myself, gorgeous lady beside me was Natalie (hot blond with brown eyes n eye liner), was her first concert and she's been a fan since little. got talking to the group how I went to mariahs 2003 concert and how I met her.

she was a luvely lass and I even said during the song "We belong together" that this was my fav part and I sang that song to her while our eyes locked into each other without staring away (like as though she liked it and smiled) gawd it was stunning to sing to a beautiful lady at a mariah concert :)
but I knew she was actually taken judging by my subcontious eyes picking out the engagement ring and the pic of her & lad on her phones lock screen so nah let it go, but I really enjoyed our time together.
near the end they had to leave early cos of early work but I forgot or wasn't man enough to ask for her number (slightly gutted but meh).
k maybe twas unrealistic to ask such a pretty & taken girl out BUT I luved every sec of it while we were there :cool: (one of those brief meet a dream girl who then vanishes goodbye type moments in life)

so then, overall it was friggin fantastic night out!
 
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We need a regroup one day Paul

Nothings clear cut but I will offer my experiences as best I can to help you through

Not necessarily OCD, just an eye and demand for a quality finish. A respectable trait

Looking at basics. To fund anything you need money its a given fact of life. A job will pf course provides funds
To crack that job interview they'll want to see self confidence to know they're placing their trust in the right person

So doing a few small pieces which will earn you enough to continue your hobby is where I'd start. It sharpens your skills (although already razor sharp :D ), may esrn you a few quid to cover costs and builds a portfolio for you to share.

We'll catch up properly soon I'm sure

Glad you enjoyed your concert Paul. It's something you definitely needed
 
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pollyp

pollyp

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Always do my best for a given task.

Indeed we should work to live a life and not live for work like a robot or it'll be degrading like how I found out.

To have that confidence for the interview I'd need a few factors.
*That I've chosen the right job that satisfies my needs/desire/passion of interest towards the ambition to design & run my own competitive race car (I was inspired by gorden murray or adrian newey) (isn't that most car guys dream?)
*And that I'm certain myself that I have sufficient skills & experience ready to perform that job.

Choosing the right job to fit into is a daunting task cos I'm aware there's millions of jobs out there waiting but it's sifting through all the fancy code names to discover the right one and some are hidden / private from the public eye.

And picking out "what do I wanna be?" I was never ever sure since school and still ain't. Have deviated from draughtsman>architect>car design>product design>3D modeller>3D app developer.

I have at least the aspiration to be a gorden murray/adrian newey designer way up that food chain level but after this career detour, I'm still at that plankton stage and dunno where or how to begin that route in without wasting more time n money in another uni course with more debt but no result. Ain't getting any younger nor is our youth energy infinite.

So whatever path I chose, can only hope it's for the better before my battery goes bad.

We'll get together soon. Ooh did you see that the virtual reality headset Oculus Rift works with Project Cars? :) that'd be an awesome 360deg game with steer wheel n pedals

That concert was a right buzz :) there's nothing like it, not even when driving trackdays comes close. Being a seriously big mariah fan was who I was, and to think I almost lost that passion. But after last night's concert the passions still there strong n feels good.

Out of all the predictions that my brain has got wrong for the past year, this current one "that I'd meet a potential real gf/wife at a mariah concert or at new job" was the closest one that 'almost' came true (had to work for it but damn she was hot) but knowing its possible and there's plenty more fine women out there to potentially make happen is reassuring :)
 
I share the same ambition to build a car be it race or production.

But I felt that nobody would notice my talent/knowledge so I'm going embarking on that task myself. Something you're welcome to join in on. I'd welcome your skills to the project.

The chap who owns LaSupra, Peter, said to go for it. He's been inundated with offers, free parts. Publicity. All because he put in his own time n money because big names were too busy to listen. And now he has the power (literally with 1000bhp ;) ) to ignore those people if he wishes

To complete a task like so would be what broke me through and yourself if you wanted to join in. The portfolio would be brilliant afterwards if it can be seen in the metal afterwards. That way I can pick out my strengths and weaknesses of what I can truly do. I know I'm "ok" at all general car stuff and better at design & fabrication
Start small and move upwards for sure.

I'm pleased its picked you up. No matter what it is its always good to take that time for yourself :)

Haven't seen the VR on Project Cars I'll have to have a look into it :)
 
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pollyp

pollyp

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I share the same ambition to build a car be it race or production.

But I felt that nobody would notice my talent/knowledge so I'm going embarking on that task myself. Something you're welcome to join in on. I'd welcome your skills to the project.

The chap who owns LaSupra, Peter, said to go for it. He's been inundated with offers, free parts. Publicity. All because he put in his own time n money because big names were too busy to listen. And now he has the power (literally with 1000bhp ;) ) to ignore those people if he wishes

To complete a task like so would be what broke me through and yourself if you wanted to join in. The portfolio would be brilliant afterwards if it can be seen in the metal afterwards. That way I can pick out my strengths and weaknesses of what I can truly do. I know I'm "ok" at all general car stuff and better at design & fabrication
Start small and move upwards for sure.

I'm pleased its picked you up. No matter what it is its always good to take that time for yourself :)

Haven't seen the VR on Project Cars I'll have to have a look into it :)

yup SWOT analysis of urself and grow organically keeping all the operations stable & within control and not too fast.
treating myself to recent trackday & mega concert has helped the mood +vely.
yes I have dreams & lots ideas I wanna make happen to benefit the world, which I think is important to keep ourselves driven. I just need to join the abstract dots on how to get myself together to plan & see the path and progress in life.

self employment is friggin hard and you yourself are getting better at it over time.
I've been through 3 struggling startups and it eventually tore me apart badly, honestly can't do that anymore cos
a: I don't have the energy or patience anymore,
b: any new job will involve moving out so I'll no longer have the luxury of staying at parents and offering my talents for free and
c: it's time to stop faffing about and make financial use of all this skill, knowledge, experience I've worked hard for over decades.

while everyone else out there is picking up chicks, baby booming, marrying and earning a living, I may not follow the same stereotype cos come-on, I'm not normal.
and now that I spot more often nowadays I have these austistic traits, I may have to accept the fact that my life won't be following the same as others (even though my socially influenced & programmed dna biology is reaching mid-life crisis of wanting a partner, and yeah I feel lonely cos I've always been alone). so one side of brain might be sad from being lonely while the other side is saying FU to society expectation and just doing what I was good at by myself.

feels like my brains going the hormonal & psychological assault of teenage puberty again lol.

here's the vid of games for oculus rift including proj cars @0:20
 
Just to add my input... I know many people with 'learning disabilities' or whatever you want to call it due to my mum working with them, if you are autistic you're very lightly on the scale!

If anything it's better to just carry on, don't think of it as being an excuse for you to not do something!

Go and find a job with a medium/large automotive company in their design/development department - these bigger business know how to look after its employees and not treat you like crap

Get a good job, move out and it'll all click into place bud
 
OP
OP
pollyp

pollyp

Club Member
Just to add my input... I know many people with 'learning disabilities' or whatever you want to call it due to my mum working with them, if you are autistic you're very lightly on the scale!

If anything it's better to just carry on, don't think of it as being an excuse for you to not do something!

Go and find a job with a medium/large automotive company in their design/development department - these bigger business know how to look after its employees and not treat you like crap

Get a good job, move out and it'll all click into place bud

agree. its just that from my pov of what my mind expects to happen comparing with other ppl & media etc and it doesn't quite match up or work out (this includes at least work & relationships) so the mind gets frustrated and tries to look for some excuse/cause of whats wrong. hence why I feel I might be slightly autistic & seek professional verification & advice. what to do with that info, no idea cos not like I can change / cure it.

aye sitting around stale & procrastinating longer just makes the dark side worse so tis better to gather some fire and go for making a change and move on.
yes my preference is to find some job that suits me in a more stable established auto company or aftermarket industry development dept that values & rewards it's staff.
this is just a speedbump in life that I have to overcome. guess its similar to the learning curve graph.
 
Aye that's my point... Getting diagnosed as autistic doesn't help/change anything however so in my completely uneducated opinion just try and crack on!

All the best man
 
Hi Paul. Great things come to great people. I might not be one of the most noticeable forum ppl; but there's lots of us out there that love reading and following what you do. You're wasted sat at home. Send out your CV to companies like mine (BAe Sytems), they're always looking for talented people. Good luck, stay strong and be yourself.
 

SuperUno

Buy & Sell Member
Get your CV sorted, i can help with this bit as a deputy director I can help direct on this. Or jin up with Andy, I do think the two of you would suit each other in that you would both improve Andy's business.

You will never start a job knowing all what you are going to do or how to do, but its about knowing how you will find out how to do it, something you have proved by all your self taught 3D printing etc.. stuff.

Other stuff in life will happen, and probably when you least expect it.... Chin up and move on
 
Do what's right for you Paul
This project of mine is non work related and it's non profitable but not to say there's nothing to gain from it. So the factor of time and money don't matter. It's purely the final product I'm left with as proof of my skills or lack of if that ne the case.

Self employment is damn hard and it's near broke me a couple of times emotionally and many times financially. Unfortunately for them I'm, thankfully (after a short verbal vomit in the form of venting), mentally unbreakable.
Yes I've had my complications we all do but they're a life lesson we take onto the next step.

I planned/expected to be living in a small house alone, dedicating my life to chassis design and creating a car. Now I'm married with 1 cat, 2 dogs and 3 kids in my 4th house. Nothing goes as planned. It's about making the most of the opportunities that arise if they further your goal. I'm still chasing that dream just at a slower pace.

When I said to a chap about me not living a normal life similar as you've mentioned above. He asked me to define what "normal" was. Apparently the correct answer is what feels right to you, not society. It's just today's appearance based peer pressure is harder to avoid thanks to social media and the like

I've said many a time. Your talents can go places. Even as you are now as you're setup. Should it be sideline pocket money earnings for now we all start somewhere and don't be afraid to fail. It's better Knowing what is than wondering what if
I've crashed and burned with BSR so many times in my first couple of years and only now am I getting upwards without fear of dropping off again

Don't let it go to waste Paul. Use it somehow. Financial gain or not but get the word out there

I do hope my project can be of help to you to express your talent. It's an opportunity Paul there for the taking should you wish. You've no obligation to it at all but know you're welcome
 
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OP
OP
pollyp

pollyp

Club Member
Aye that's my point... Getting diagnosed as autistic doesn't help/change anything however so in my completely uneducated opinion just try and crack on!

All the best man

yea I know getting diagnosed won't change anything but least I'll be aware of what my faults are, learn to accept & get around them.
 
OP
OP
pollyp

pollyp

Club Member
Hi Paul. Great things come to great people. I might not be one of the most noticeable forum ppl; but there's lots of us out there that love reading and following what you do. You're wasted sat at home. Send out your CV to companies like mine (BAe Sytems), they're always looking for talented people. Good luck, stay strong and be yourself.

Yes I believe something gr8 will come outa all this, I really wanna fulfill my dream and be happy.
This past episode hasn't killed me yet so I can only be stronger & wiser from the experience.
God forbid, I may have been down & felt a failure in the past but it's the awareness that I have the potential be more than I am now and that I still have that dream vision which prevents me from leaving this world, unlike my poor m8 recently :(
Some say that as long as our body & mind continues beating, there's always another chance to make things better.
Whether any members visible or not, any input & community support helps no matter how big or small.

Sitting at home with parents taking care of home stuff & food and me doing my own thing has made me stall, yes (I've been spoilt) and I do feel the only way forward from now on is to leave the birds nest to develop myself, which requires me to forget my unknown fears, research my next move, send the friggin CV no matter how bad and pee in the wind hope for the best.
 
OP
OP
pollyp

pollyp

Club Member
Get your CV sorted, i can help with this bit as a deputy director I can help direct on this. Or jin up with Andy, I do think the two of you would suit each other in that you would both improve Andy's business.

You will never start a job knowing all what you are going to do or how to do, but its about knowing how you will find out how to do it, something you have proved by all your self taught 3D printing etc.. stuff.

Other stuff in life will happen, and probably when you least expect it.... Chin up and move on

I have a CV roughly summarised, it ain't pretty or well worded compared to others but the contents mostly there (hmm I think that perfectionism is partially part of my problem which I'll explain later).
should I post my CV here or PM/email you & johnathon?

working with andy in his specialised automotive motorsport/development would be the area I'd like to get into but there's 2 painful lessons I learnt from my last job.
-don't go into business with ur best m8 cos in business when money's involved, there are no friends and/or it will only destroy it eventually. I don't mind doing side-line supporting things as a m8 but wouldn't risk being employed.
-don't undervalue myself and be paid after each job on a percentage basis. I didn't know how much I was worth or min-wage so I stupidly just accepted whatever I was given cos had no other choice (and he took advantage of keeping his running costs low). and then being paid a tiny amount after such a long hard 2-3mth project strained my savings and added stress. and the risk of working via % was tricky cos financial maths ain't my strength. 10% of what? could be £50 or £1000? was a mess. I'd rather have a stable consistant normal wage that realistically reflected the value of all my skills, knowledge, experience, like my first 3 normal jobs as a call centre/product designer/app designer (when I was actually happy, unlike this last nightmare).

aye we will never know enough when beginning any job (I just wanted some certainty that I'll be able to do the job rather than thrown into deep end of gordon ramseys shouting restaurant and expected to cook when I only know how to heat up ready food :p ), but tis true that it's the self-teaching/developing, independant, inner driven mindset that they value, which I do have and have proof of, so I should feel good & proud bout that :)

I think I've been too much of a perfectionist. submitting or committing to something ONLY when it's to my high standards comparing against others.
only submitting my CV when it appears or written right.
only applying for job if my CV matches it's min requirements.
only asking a girl out if she's pretty/appear interested/straight/non-asian/no bf/virgin etc
and as I've now discovered and shouldn've known, the world doesn't really work like that and my brains prediction mechanism got it soo wrong.

I should change my mindset, stop worrying about being perfect/cautious cos it gets me nowhere. go for it no matter how terrible or insignificant or unsuccessful I think it is. and if fate says it's meant to be, it'll just happen. and if it wasn't, meh so what? shrug off the hurt of failure. I tried, there's more fish out there, carry on.
 
OP
OP
pollyp

pollyp

Club Member
Do what's right for you Paul
This project of mine is non work related and it's non profitable but not to say there's nothing to gain from it. So the factor of time and money don't matter. It's purely the final product I'm left with as proof of my skills or lack of if that ne the case.

Self employment is damn hard and it's near broke me a couple of times emotionally and many times financially. Unfortunately for them I'm, thankfully (after a short verbal vomit in the form of venting), mentally unbreakable.
Yes I've had my complications we all do but they're a life lesson we take onto the next step.

I planned/expected to be living in a small house alone, dedicating my life to chassis design and creating a car. Now I'm married with 1 cat, 2 dogs and 3 kids in my 4th house. Nothing goes as planned. It's about making the most of the opportunities that arise if they further your goal. I'm still chasing that dream just at a slower pace.

When I said to a chap about me not living a normal life similar as you've mentioned above. He asked me to define what "normal" was. Apparently the correct answer is what feels right to you, not society. It's just today's appearance based peer pressure is harder to avoid thanks to social media and the like

I've said many a time. Your talents can go places. Even as you are now as you're setup. Should it be sideline pocket money earnings for now we all start somewhere and don't be afraid to fail. It's better Knowing what is than wondering what if
I've crashed and burned with BSR so many times in my first couple of years and only now am I getting upwards without fear of dropping off again

Don't let it go to waste Paul. Use it somehow. Financial gain or not but get the word out there

I do hope my project can be of help to you to express your talent. It's an opportunity Paul there for the taking should you wish. You've no obligation to it at all but know you're welcome

yup I have to go with gut instint on what my next career path is, learning from my past history of which bits I like and what went wrong. never make the same mistake twice.
H701 is a sandbox project car just like mine. We tinker, experiment, develop parts & skills on it to better ourselves which in turn could be used on paying projects. Continuous learning & incremental improvement.

Out with the old bad vibes and in with the new +ve oppurtunities to make life better. ur venting rant was awesome and good to get stuff out there off ur chest n mind like emptying the bin so stuff can operate better without clutter.
imo I never would've thought I'd express so much personal outcry on this blog when I first started it (crysis escaping my last slave job, crysis with rejection & depression, help with mindset) but since this is my only proper outlet and to have this amazing community including all you guys to give feedback, I dunno where I'd be without you's :)

When I look at other ppl, it's as though they all have this hidden sense / mojo / instinct of knowing what & how the human/animal world works whereas I look at myself and I have no idea.
relationships, morgages, economics, phsychology, these are something they don't teach us kids in school yet we know about algebra & swimming in pyjamas.

yea "normal" is just a socially induced average, a form of control, it's like that scene in the Matrix where morpheous descibes what the matrix is.
become this normal or society (including friends & family) will outcast you?

In media there's this outcast of the "40yr old virgin", that comedy film I really dread watching without thinking that could be me and what I'm gonna be in for.
Peer pressure & biological pressure tries to influence me hence this perfectionism trait but now gotta think fook that, fook life n family crap and just do whatever and have fun.
I'm here on earth to live my life n passion, not be a robot slave for others, and anything I contribute to advance the human race is a bonus.

hmm maybe that end scene in Matrix had a deeper meaning. you had to be almost dead by a smith (at ur lowest darkest point) before you wake up wiser n more supreme to see all that code, understand the greater meaning, control the world around you.

Thank you for offering the oppurtunity to let me help ur project. so amazing to have met supportive ppl like you n alexia & ur kids in my life ;) I don't mind doing small jobs that you need a specialist help on as a side job on my spare time. I just need to resolve my primary stable income job to set myself up in life.

This week my mom has left for 2week holiday and to be responsible for myself & the house with dad, being pro-active to do washing, do DIY plumbing, fixing stuff, cook basic food, where I have to get off my ass n do stuff..it feels good :) so guess when I move out I should be ok.
 
You'll do alright Paul

You have your priorities in order which is the most important.
Financial stability is key and not something employment wise I can offer, who knows what the future holds and I'm pleased you made the decision you did they bit the hand that fed them. If that opportunity arises you'll be my first contact. I know your ability and determination. You just need something to show others. Like the website we spoke about
Here its a project where there's zero financial aspect (of course I'll have to buy materials or ill get nowhere but you understand what I mean :D ) so there's just the fun of the project to enjoy instead. Just a bunch of mates cocking about somewhat professionally and producing something awesome
It'll definitely present you with a new set of challenges and it may be that nudge you need to get where you want to go. You're already set up for it so don't worry about having to travel here to take part :)

I've never really cared much for others opinion. Although it may seem it when the uneducated pass an opinion based on their lack of knowledge, that just gets frustrating. Like an itch you cant scratch. It's just there irritating you no matter what you try. But alas there's no cure for stupid yet.

I wouldn't ask any more of you Paul. You're not duty bound by it. It's a learning experience for those involved at the end of the day :) your time would of course be greatly appreciated and maybe we can learn from each other in the process

Problem is people set goals in life. Buy house. Marry mrs. Acquire nice car. And by today's society its a checklist for accomplishment acknowledgement. Why so? Why do we need others approval?
Those targets all well and good but where's the real personal ambition? Is it something you want or something you feel you need to "comply"?
Be selfish Paul. Pick what you want and charge at it. You're the only one responsible for your happiness and your sense of accomplishment.
We're all here to help out if and when you need it

But a small project working with friends that produces something you can see, feel, use and be proud of is a good first step. And simply up your game from there :)
 
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Paul I forgot to mention about the collaborative works project (separate from my project)
It's a newish place that is in the area you're looking to work. Except you're in charge of yourself but you have access to their clientele for better outreach. It's something I'll be getting involved in and something I hope you can too :)

(There's a chap who makes carbon fibre / fibreglass body panels etc joining in too.. that could be interesting)
 

SuperUno

Buy & Sell Member
Oh and people may look like they know what they are doing in work/ life / career etc... Nearly all of it is blagging. Being able to blag my way out of thing is where i got to in life, yes good understanding of science and my degree help but the ability to go into the unknown and blag it is a key skill....
 
OP
OP
pollyp

pollyp

Club Member
You'll do alright Paul

You have your priorities in order which is the most important.
Financial stability is key and not something employment wise I can offer, who knows what the future holds and I'm pleased you made the decision you did they bit the hand that fed them. If that opportunity arises you'll be my first contact. I know your ability and determination. You just need something to show others. Like the website we spoke about
Here its a project where there's zero financial aspect (of course I'll have to buy materials or ill get nowhere but you understand what I mean :D ) so there's just the fun of the project to enjoy instead. Just a bunch of mates cocking about somewhat professionally and producing something awesome
It'll definitely present you with a new set of challenges and it may be that nudge you need to get where you want to go. You're already set up for it so don't worry about having to travel here to take part :)

I've never really cared much for others opinion. Although it may seem it when the uneducated pass an opinion based on their lack of knowledge, that just gets frustrating. Like an itch you cant scratch. It's just there irritating you no matter what you try. But alas there's no cure for stupid yet.

I wouldn't ask any more of you Paul. You're not duty bound by it. It's a learning experience for those involved at the end of the day :) your time would of course be greatly appreciated and maybe we can learn from each other in the process

Problem is people set goals in life. Buy house. Marry mrs. Acquire nice car. And by today's society its a checklist for accomplishment acknowledgement. Why so? Why do we need others approval?
Those targets all well and good but where's the real personal ambition? Is it something you want or something you feel you need to "comply"?
Be selfish Paul. Pick what you want and charge at it. You're the only one responsible for your happiness and your sense of accomplishment.
We're all here to help out if and when you need it

But a small project working with friends that produces something you can see, feel, use and be proud of is a good first step. And simply up your game from there :)

yea I need to get some form of website portfolio sorted out. the forum blog ain't ideal for the passer by. just need to pull my finger out to do it.

understand the H701 non-profit hobby project car side, like a clarkson/may/hamster weekend cocking about thing.
aye would've been concerned if it required commitment to constantly travel or move there cos it all involves alot more money, but if it's just like cad / printing stuff that I can do here, the only bottleneck is how accurately you record the information I need to produce the outcome (without me driving 3hrs there & back each time).

I do my best to contribute to ppl who ask for info/input or correct misinformation but there are times where I have to roll eyes and let it slide cos cba.

trying to comply with social/peer pressure and failing obviously doesn't make me any happier. so at this point I'm trying to ignore it and make myself happy somehow.
 
OP
OP
pollyp

pollyp

Club Member
Paul I forgot to mention about the collaborative works project (separate from my project)
It's a newish place that is in the area you're looking to work. Except you're in charge of yourself but you have access to their clientele for better outreach. It's something I'll be getting involved in and something I hope you can too :)

(There's a chap who makes carbon fibre / fibreglass body panels etc joining in too.. that could be interesting)

so it's like working freelance and this collab works project hub is like a central FB/linkedIn/twitter interface that links ppl up?
this is something new to me, I've never been self-employed or know how to quote clients properly for work but is something to investigate.
 
OP
OP
pollyp

pollyp

Club Member
Oh and people may look like they know what they are doing in work/ life / career etc... Nearly all of it is blagging. Being able to blag my way out of thing is where i got to in life, yes good understanding of science and my degree help but the ability to go into the unknown and blag it is a key skill....
This^^
I'm a world class bullsh1ter

see I'm not very good at blagging or lying/acting, influencing ppl creatively. I've always been an honest, straight to the point, factual, sometimes robotic / binary type person. which maybe good for tech stuff but bad for socialising.

pm'd
 
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