F/S: 1994 Pink/Red Nissan micra 1.3 LX £500

Item: 1994 Pink/Red Nissan micra 1.3 LX £500
Location: Bath
Condition: very used
Reason for selling: put my integra back on the road
Price: 500

Well, I meant to take this car to lemans last year but when my passengers said thats a curse word idea I bought a bmw coupe. I then sold the bmw and drove this because I'm tighter than a nuns vag and I also own a white integra and I hate washing cars. I have done 11,000 miles behind the wheel of this thing - all of them fast. My mate pete owned it and couldn't kill it.... the best he could do is try let me have a go. I'm known for my ability to break my cheap ####ter cars and ruin how they feel and drive and this has been my toughest assignment yet. If you look at its log book the first owner was herts rentacar so this cars seen more bums than Julian Clary. I have jumped this car off humpback bridges. ( repeatedly) I drove this car 30 miles every day to work. I'm always late so the car has been thrashed from cold. I have done burnouts in this car Attacked every roundabout I see in this car I have put 14 people in this car I have done a track-day in this car. I have done J turns in this car ( to evade attackers who wanted to steal my micra) I have crashed this car on purpose... for fun. I have done a GPS indicated 116 mph on a closed private road in this car. And yet..... its fine. >:( I really tried to kill it and I failed :( Its literally fine. I put it up on the ramp and every bush,clip and whatnot is fine. Drives straight and true The engine is sweet as a nut and quieter than when I got it. No rattles or smoke Doesn't use oil The Good. Genuinely hilarious to drive ( rolls but grips like poo poo on a blanket) 6 careful owners Tax and test to the end of june. 110,000 miles. ( so not even run in) It did 86HP on the dyno ( so 10 more than standard) Interior is in good nick Short shifter ( no I'm not kidding) EBC Pads Brembo disks and goodrich hoses ( no I'm not kidding) Splitfire ignition leads ( no I'm not kidding) Shortshifter ( no I'm not kidding) Recent battery Exhaust Recent throttle body/TPS When I got it I did the Oil,Filter,Fuel Filter,Plugs, New rear wiper and motor Electric windows! Rev counter ( super S clocks) S13 facelift steering wheel S14 leather gearknob 4000k HIDs (bulbs not currently fitted but all you have to do is plug them in) JL front speakers Front tires are about 5mm rears about 3mm Ive owned it and that makes it really cool you can tell you're friends that your car was once owned by James Deacon. Fully documented brilliant service history EVERYTHING done by garage seemingly its one of the best service history's of any car I have owned. Other good things,.... HOLY****IVEDONEHOWMANYMILESONATENNER?!... Honestly this car is more tight than me. 1.3 ( so fast its scary) Covered in dents and scratches and has no wheel trims so its basically rat look ( in my head) The bad Do you have self esteem? ( then you need to forget that stepping out of this thing) The n/s outer CV lets out its war cry on full lock. ( has passed the last two mots like this) The drivers side sill will do one more MOT but then will need a patch. The drivers door handle as partly snapped off but still functions as an access device to the micra Cutting the crap for a second - If a nuclear war happens this car will sit there watching with its stupid doe eyed face the mushroom cloud disperse.....quietly idling like nothing happened and then be put to work driven by the new super race of giant radioactive cockroaches. In other words. I would get into this car tomorrow and drive it to Canada and I would get there without opening the bonnet. Only for sale as the Integra is back on the road What do I want for this machine of speed and bird pulling ability? £500. Pictures.
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Dyno run.
 
Just like to say that is the greatest advert for a car of all time. If I had known about the indestructibility of this car I would have well bought it over mine.

Very very very GLWS, I'm sure someone on here will love you blatant honesty.
 

skymera

Brutal Honesty
Judging by your description on how it's been driven by you, you've blown your monkey out the water and I'll struggle to offer you 50 nicker

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